Unpureness and Wishing

I feel so sick. Unpure. It's always been this way since my eating disorder showed up in the first place. I can't eat anything without feeling completely disgusting and worthless afterward. Like I feel now. Prepare yourself for some whining, if you can bear it.
I wish I could eat anything I wanted, and never gain an ounce. I wish that I could live without thinking about calories, and food, and all those other things that constantly rest on my shoulders. I wish that I could be happy all the time. I wish that I was truly pure, and beautiful, like nature. I wish that other people liked me. I wish that boys liked me. I wish I was popular. I wish school was out for ever. I wish that people would stop nagging me. I wish I wasn't so quiet. I wish my opinion mattered. I wish my boobs were bigger. I wish my stomach was flatter. I wish I was friends with all of my enemies. I wish that the summer never ended. I wish I didn't have to clean up after myself. I wish I could change someone's view on life for the better. I wish I could change my view on life for the better. I wish there was more diet soda in the house. I wish I could never eat again. I wish I was in a meadow dancing with birds, and a blue sky. I wish I had talent. I wish I wasn't a fake. I wish life was fair. I wish I had more money. I wish I could pass for a model. I wish I was a size 0. I wish I was a better cook. I wish other people wouldn't wish for an eating disorder. I wish I never wished for an eating disorder. I wish people would stop lying to me. I wish the mirror would stop lying to me. I wish I didn't like being afraid. I wish the clock moved faster in between meals. I wish I had more willpower. I wish that other people cared about how I feel. I wish I could fall in love. I wish I could grow wings. I wish that people didn't hate each other. I wish that aliens will come to Earth and set us straight. I wish I could go to Hobby Lobby. I wish I had some Shirataki Noodles. I wish that I was living, not surving. I wish my family could avoid eviction. I wish I hadn't painted my room for Christmas, and instead have gotten money. I wish that the stuff I'm downloading didn't take so long. I wish that everyone would just stop bitching for once. I wish I would just stop bitching for once. I wish we had more variety of foods at my house. I wish there wasn't bugs in all of our noodles. I wish I was inspiring. I wish I could commit to something. I wish that I could think of more things that I want. I wish that I'll get to go to my Grandma's house. I wish nobody ate my Twinkies. I wish I wasn't so greedy. I wish I didn't need so many things to make myself happy...